Politics around the dinner table

Marjorie: As far back as I know, our family culture has included almost endless conversations about political matters, strong engagement with community and being active in supporting issues important to both immediate and broader communities. Social justice, fairness and genuine concern for the poor have always figured loudly in our family conversations. Work for what you believe in and don’t be a winger. Take responsibility.

Keri: As far as we know, no one else in our family has actually held public office, although a great aunt Elizabeth (Bessie) Frewin (nee O’Neill), who was born in 1892 to Irish immigrants, was one of the earliest women candidates for all levels of government in Australia but was never elected.

Brian O’Neill, my husband, was Secretary of the SDA, the shop assistants’ union, and was very committed to protecting and improving workers’ rights and conditions. Brian O’Neill, my husband, was Secretary of the SDA, the shop assistants’ union, and was very committed to protecting and improving workers’ rights and conditions. Brian and I met in the lift of the Trades Hall building when we were both union officials! My mother Marjorie Spooner was a well-known union delegate at Grace Bros in Bondi Junction.

Some advice from Keri and Marjorie …

Through campaigns and loss

Keri: I first assisted to help get Marjorie elected as a Councillor on Waverley Council, but the effort required for her NSW state campaign a few years later in 2019 was another level altogether. It was both physically and emotionally gruelling, a very tough campaign at so many levels. Both her father and I, our other four children and our broader group of family and friends were all engaged in helping Marjorie get elected.

We had faith in her being an exemplarily local representative. We knew she understood the needs of our community, held very strong values and is the hardest working person any of us have ever known. Unfortunately, her dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just four months before election day, which was the day before he died.

I cannot begin to tell you how hard it was as a mother to watch Marjorie and our other children, as well as our two eldest grandchildren, work to honour the commitment we’d made to securing a Labor win in Coogee as we participated in Brian’s decline. Marjorie was elected on the Saturday, Brian died on the Sunday evening and Marjorie had to be up at dawn on the Monday for the first of many press conferences.

Marjorie: My campaign manager was Paul Pearce who had been the Labor member for Coogee before the Liberals gained the seat. Mum’s role in the campaign was huge. For months leading up to the election, she spent hours doorknocking with me, standing on street stalls and organising materials, distributions and volunteers.

Dad’s falling very ill during the campaign was entirely unexpected and brutal. Both mum and dad insisted that having made the commitment to run for Coogee, I had to honour that.

Our family home was campaign headquarters and for the last weeks of the campaign, we had volunteers working from the back of the house while dad was dying in the front room. My father was so brave and selfless. My mother, together with my sister Bridget, were extraordinary in their coordination and nurturing of our many kind and generous volunteers. My aunty Korel kept us all fed for many weeks, while her gorgeous husband Kurt, now also sadly deceased, kept our house in order. My sister Mary and brothers Christopher and Francis were also amazing, spreading their time between my campaign and our darling father.

Mum was so strong. To say she was a great advisor and supporter really does not do her role justice. Her love and support were unqualified.

Keri: I had worked on so any campaigns over the years, not just Marjorie’s, that my own transition from supporter to candidate when I ran for Waverley Council felt easy.

I had very little ego – I was OK whether I won or lost. I wanted to do my best, but honestly, I was more interested in a Labor win than my own. Marjorie was an amazing supporter and she spent many hours working on my campaign doorknocking and then on polling booths. She was a great help! So was her sister Bridget and so many other committed and selfless people, including ALP members and friends.  

Marjorie: My mum was active in politics long before I was born. She was offered a spot on the ALP NSW Legislative Council ticket when I was a baby but declined because she thought that taking the job would destroy her children’s lives. It just felt right that she should be an elected local representative on Waverley Council, if she was willing to do that. I knew that she would be amazing – and she has been. Mum is smart, funny and holds very strong community focused values. She focuses on getting a job done, not on playing politics.

“Mum’s role in the campaign was huge. For months leading up to the election, she spent hours doorknocking with me, standing on street stalls and organising materials, distributions and volunteers. Dad’s falling very ill during the campaign was entirely unexpected and brutal.”

– Dr Marjorie O’Neill MP

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dr Marjorie O'Neill MP (@marjorieoneillcoogee)

Women helping women

Marjorie: We both see that our story exemplifies the power that comes from women supporting women. It takes so many forms but includes some very basic stuff like helping to ensure there’s food to eat, clothes ready to wear, your hair looks ok, people are thanked, phone calls made and the right messages sent. Just being present sometimes is important or being able to deflect a difficult situation.

Loyal, smart women can and often are the critical element in another woman’s success. Family support is important and ideal. It would be almost impossible to run a successful political campaign or career if your immediate family was not onside, but friends and supporters are just as important.

“Loyal, smart women can and often are the critical element in another woman’s success. Family support is important and ideal.”

– Dr Marjorie O’Neill MP

Keri: Make sure you spend time at a personal level. I know that my relationship with Marjorie has suffered from our joint political activities. We’ve spent too much time discussing political issues and not enough relating as mother and daughter. Participating in politics comes at a personal price.

Also, appreciate that everything comes at a cost and while you focus on political issues or, in my case, a ‘political’ child, other family members may sometimes feel neglected. Try to get the balance right but know that you never will! Actually, my advice to anyone embarking on a political journey is to remember to keep a balance in your life.

Marjorie: My advice for women and families considering a political path is to protect your sense of self. The work can be demanding and all-consuming, so it’s important to hold onto the parts of your life that are just yours – whether that’s family time, friendships, or personal interests.

It’s also essential not to take things too personally. In public life, people often project their frustrations onto you, and not all criticism is a reflection of who you are or what you stand for. Learning to separate yourself from that is key to staying grounded and resilient.

Politics is meaningful work, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your wellbeing. Setting boundaries and keeping perspective will help you sustain both your career and your life beyond it.

“My advice to anyone embarking on a political journey is to remember to keep a balance in your life.”

– Dr Cr Keri Spooner

“Politics is meaningful work, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your wellbeing.”

– Dr Marjorie O’Neill MP